Going back and forth and back again.
Lately I have been really trying hard to be aware and present. I want to be present with everything that is going on around me. I’m turning 36 next month and I’ve breezed through too many days.
Way too many.
So I fight for every second for clarity. I need to step back, in my mind, and appreciate things a little bit at a time, step by step, each hour, each day. Piece by piece. Moment by moment. One person at a time.
Things are getting pretty weird out there. We’ve got news, fake news, people posting strange news from CNN, Fox, NY Times, and people finding articles from wherever they can find something that agrees with their opinions, posting them, crossing their arms, and then done… point made!
Weird world, man. It’s really all about what you already believe, isn’t it? Anything anyone else says is just noise, right? Or more accurately, it’s just trash.
I ran a bunch of miles this year partly because I want people to be impressed with me.
I’ve been a fake in most areas of my life. It’s not that I’ve been pretending or misleading, but just that when I really look into things like my personality, activities, and pretty much everything else about me, I find an element of falseness. It’s there, trying to in grain itself in me. It’s not who I am, but it’s become a piece of the puzzle.
This is me.
I am 35, happily in love with my sweet wife, and the father of 2 very keen boys, ages 7 and 8. I am left handed, bald and I wear glasses. I am bowlegged. I’m not sure how much of this is applicable to this post, yet these are the facts and here they are.
When I was about 10 years old, I fell in love with hockey. I was into it all; from watching Hockey Night in Canada to playing street hockey at 7pm in the dark winters of Alberta, I gave my time and my thoughts to the game.
There was once a man named Michael. He was a good man. Everyone thought of him as a good man, and more so, he was a good man even when no one was looking.
One day he fell in love and got married to a beautiful woman. Their love was so deep and strong. They enjoyed their lives together so much so that they needed to have children to share their love with.
I woke up 10 minutes before my phone alarm went off. For some reason, my body anticipates what’s going to happen and warns me about it. I hate waking up to an alarm, but of course, I need to, so I set it.
An interesting thing about people is that we are guarded. We walk around with imaginary walls to keep out whatever might come our way. This means that our lives are full of chit chat and how ya doin’. Small talk isn’t a completely evil thing, but I think that there is at least a little evil in it.
I work at a camp. It’s a large facility, and as the summer approaches we are seeing more a more staff come in. We all gather at the staff table for breakfast every morning, and these days there are over 25 of us in all.
I remember, a few weeks ago, after it happened and I wanted to disappear. I wanted to be somewhere where I could hide from the media machine. Eventually, the best I could do was ignore twitter and Facebook for a few days. That seemed to work pretty well. I also avoided the nightly news.